Accepting the obvious isn’t always easy. It’s been over a month, and we haven’t seen a trace of Kota since Sunday morning, June 9. We have to acknowledge that she is gone, and that we will likely never know what happened to her. I continue to look for signs of her, and probably always will, as I walk through our pastures and along the creek. Maybe one day I will come across the cedar tree or elbow bush where she curled up for her last sleep. I hope so; it would give me closure. I will always have regrets. A beloved companion like Kota should take their last breath with her head in someone’s lap. I so wish I could have cuddled her and told her what a blessing she has been and how much we will miss her…or at least lay her to rest beside Nickie and Colt in the pasture where they used to run with such abandon. I didn’t have that choice. Instead, I’ll just try to give extra pats to her pack mates, Rue, Cody, Bo and Dutch, and to tell those I love what they mean to me. You never know when it will be your last chance to say it.
We appreciate so much everyone’s thoughts, prayers, and help in trying to locate Kota. I felt your love and support and it has helped. If you follow this blog, you may have seen the post dated September 25, 2010, that featured Kota’s tenth adoption anniversary. (Her real name was Dakota, but when she was a pup I never had time to say her full name before she was into something else. So…she became ‘Kota.) She went from an exuberant pup to a competent, confident, hunter and traveling companion, then later to a distinguished elder canine citizen. We are blessed that we could have her share our journey, and she will always be in our hearts.
Rest in peace, my sweet girl.
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